What if Joy Was Your Only Merit for Success?
August 6, 2019
How can success be measured? What is joy and happiness?
Success and happiness are subjective as both will have different meanings to different people. The dictionary defines success as achieved status, power, wealth or fame; success in what you do. Happiness is an emotional state of well-being defined by positive feelings ranging from contentment and fulfilment to extreme joy, love and euphoria. What if success is achieved yet happiness remains elusive? Is it conceivable that joy could be our only merit for success?
As a transformational coach and life alignment mentor people come to me to up-level their life. Many of my clients are successful by definition yet feel a sense of dissatisfaction with life, or frustration or even unhappiness. Having achieved all that society dictates as successful some feel they are still lacking in inner peace. They wonder if lasting happiness is actually attainable with the disharmony felt within. Of course moments of feeling peace and joy are experienced but it is fleeting. Many ask: why am I not feeling happier?
A regular high-profile client came to me recently with insomnia. It was impacting every area of his life. His gruelling schedule demanded weekly international travel across multiple time zones. One might expect the constant upheaval to be causing sleep issues and sure enough, it was having an impact. However, as we uncovered the layers, what unfolded was a very different story. Following an extremely successful career spanning several decades (the source of much pleasure) a complete change in direction was now desired. The last few years had not brought the same level of enjoyment. However, upon exploring deeper, due to external pressures and expectations he held the belief that there was no alternative but to continue on the same path; there was reputation to uphold and he feared letting everyone down. So onwards he went – and the conflict inside grew stronger. The impact on his wellbeing now becoming so immense it could no longer be ignored. This is a familiar story. If the inner whispers are muted long enough the body will eventually go out of balance to make us listen. Limiting thoughts are a huge source of stress. In fact, there’s really only one thing that stands between you and your wellbeing: you have allowed your thoughts and emotions to take instruction from the outside rather than the inside.
When we perceive something as pleasurable the brain responds by releasing bliss chemicals which make us feel good. The four primary chemicals released are dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin, and endorphins. Each plays a different role in happiness. Goal achievements are rewarded with the release of neurotransmitter dopamine which uplifts us and provides a sense of satisfaction. But what if a goal achieved is deemed successful by society, or parental expectation, but is not in alignment with your core values, your deepest desires? You may have even believed this achievement was what you too wanted (because you’ve been saying it is what you wanted for so long, right?). However, once achieved, it brought little joy. It is likely that the success programs that you are running are blocking real happiness. It is no wonder that the bliss chemicals are not being triggered if goals are not aligned with your inner true self.
Earlier this summer a client flew me for two days intensive transformational work with him on his yacht. Away from life’s usual distractions it was a great opportunity to clear some space. After a long career in finance he was currently assessing his life. He had recently lost one of his parents which had triggered some self-searching. He had always lived life believing he was happy. Hugely successful in his chosen career, everyone was extremely proud. But over the last few years an inner discord was creating feelings of frustration and unhappiness – yet he couldn’t pinpoint the source. Through our sessions we uncovered the subconscious success programs he was running. He discovered his truth. He realised that his unease was due to the beliefs he held around success – they were not his own and they were not aligned with his true desires. We healed the root cause of his discomfort and he discovered a newfound sense of freedom. He no longer had to chase an image of who he thought he wanted to be. The inner peace he now feels is helping him to take inspired action towards his goals. Without the “noise” he is able to be in flow more of the time. He has started experiencing breakthroughs where before he had hit walls.
If you are ready to make a substantial shift in your life, if you want a better way, if you are ready to experience sustainable peace and wellbeing then in is the only way out. When you harmonise the inside first, and move from this centred place, happiness naturally unfolds. And it is sustainable.
Our natural state is one of vibrancy and harmony. But you have got to get past the noise, the ego, the patterns and programming that are getting in the way. These blocks are holding you back. Think back to when you were a child. Your success was just being happy. Happiness came from a place of innocence. Joy was felt simply by engaging in the present moment. As you grow up you become a product of your surroundings. You optimise yourself, carve a successful career, you achieve status, recognition, you get married, have children… success in all areas of life! But even after having achieved all these successes there may still be disharmony or unease felt within. There is still a sense of dissatisfaction, or emptiness inside. Why? This discord is felt when you’re out of harmony with who you truly are. We cannot only focus on fixing external surroundings if we want to experience true happiness. The source and basis of your entire experience is within you. Pain, pleasure, joy, misery, agony or ecstasy; it all happens only inside you. So there needs to be a change in direction. True happiness can be found by getting back to your truth; the self before the mind got in the way and made life get complicated. Making this shift in perspective is the most powerful change you can make. As ancient teachings tell us; happiness has to first come from within.
We need to strip everything back and go from there. Once the noise has quietened down you move from a centred place. In your natural state, your truth, your happiness will unfold. When you move from this rooted centre you’re aligned with your true self and you are unstoppable. You will find your peace, your happiness, your joy, your passion, your calling; whatever it is that makes your heart sing.
You are now in flow more of the time. “In flow” is when you are ‘in the zone’. It is the elevated state experienced when an athlete or performer is on their game and they are at their best. The same is true for each one of us. Your full attention is in the moment, you’re acting instinctively, you’re in the flow. You have absolute mental clarity. You feel your best and perform your best.
Allowing inner harmony does not have to be difficult. Inner transformation does not need to take a lifetime. With the right guidance and introducing some simple, yet life-changing, methods you can change your approach to living and transform from the inside out. It is the greatest gift you can give to yourself and to those around you. Why postpone true happiness for the future when it is something you can choose in the present? All the riches you could ever want are available within you. That is powerful. Sharing Lao Tzu’s timeless wisdom: “Mastering others is strength. Mastering yourself is true power”.
By Jane Bliss Sorrell: Jane Bliss
A transformational coach & intuitive life-alignment mentor, Jane Bliss Sorrell is passionate about guiding others to reclaim their power and become the master of their own life. Healing the past and rapidly resolving blocks and fears, people frequently experience quantum breakthroughs during her transformative 1:1 sessions.