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September 15, 2022

How Women Can Take Control In The Bedroom

It is said that more women than men want their partners to initiate in the bedroom – but sometimes, women like to take control too! There are many ways that you can become more assertive in the bedroom so that you can experience the pleasure that you’ve been looking for, whether that’s by discussing ideas with your partner, using games to get the conversation flowing, or if you’re feeling particularly adventurous, you could use a sex whip to turn up the heat on date night. Read on to find out more about how women can be more assertive in the bedroom.


One of the best places to start when it comes to taking control in the bedroom is to communicate with your partner. If you’re waiting for your partner to ask you what you want, you might be waiting a while! So, take control by making the first move when it comes to what you want to try in bed. Speaking up means that women can communicate with their partners, about what they want to try and what they like, allowing both parties to feel safe and heard. It can be difficult to approach the subject but set the tone on a date night or when you’re spending some time with each other to get the ball rolling, once the conversation is beginning to flow, communicating what you want in the bedroom will become a lot easier for both of you.

Play games

If you find that communicating your wants and needs in the bedroom to your partner is difficult, you could use a game to help you break the ice and get the ideas flowing. You can use games that are available in the form of an app, or something a little less technical like dice or cards. Pick a day and time for date night and use your new game to help you take control. This works particularly well if you’re finding communication hard as the game does all the work for you. These games can bring new ideas, fantasies, or positions to the bedroom so that you and your partner can spice up your sex life.

Take Turns

If you’re not confident when it comes to taking control, you and your partner could take turns throughout sex to be assertive at different points. For example, if you like to take control by initiating sex, that is your chance to be confident and in control. Or maybe you would prefer to be more submissive most of the time, but you like to be on top during sex – you have the chance to take control in a way that you are most comfortable, and you can share the control with your partner so that both of you are having sex that you enjoy.

Use your imagination

Tapping into your imagination means you can have new and exciting sexual experiences with your partner. Think about your fantasies and take the time to discuss them with each other – is there something in particular that you’ve always wanted to try? Now is the time to speak up! Ask your partner if there is anything they have in mind that they’d like to try too, and between you both, you can come up with new ideas for initiation that you can try in the bedroom – you never know unless you ask!


Try not to overthink it – taking control can take many forms, it doesn’t simply mean that you must be dominant. The likelihood is, that your partner wants you to be happy and wants to please you in a way that you find most satisfying, so don’t stress – you’re likely to be worried over nothing. Create a relaxing atmosphere so that you can both talk and explore your ideas so you can take control and experience new excitement in the bedroom.

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